A husband was in BIG trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. "Tomorrow," his rotund wife angrily told him, "there had better be something in our driveway that goes from zero to 200 in six seconds flat!"

The next morning, the wife looked outside and saw a small package in the driveway. She brought it inside, opened it....and found a brand-new bathroom scale.

Funeral services for her husband have been set for Saturday.